Mangement Lessons for Monday

A sales rep, an administration  clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an  antique oil lamp.  They rub it and a Genie comes out.   The Genie says, 'I'll give each of you just one  wish.'     'Me first! Me first!' says the  admin clerk..  'I want to be in the Bahamas , driving a  speedboat, without a care in the world..'  Poof! She's  gone.    'Me next! Me next!' says the sales  rep. 'I want to be in   Hawaii  , relaxing on the  beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina  Coladas, and the love of my life.'  Poof! He's gone.    'OK, you're up,' the Genie says to  the manager.  The manager says, 'I want those two back in  the office after lunch.'

Moral of the  story:  
Always let your  boss have the first say.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++
An eagle was sitting on a tree  resting, doing nothing.  A small rabbit saw the eagle and  asked him, 'Can I also sit like you and do nothing?'  The  eagle answered: 'Sure, why not.'  So, the rabbit sat on the ground  below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared,  jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Moral of the  story:
To be sitting and  doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up. 
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++
A turkey was chatting with a bull.   'I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree'  sighed the turkey, 'but I haven't got the  energy.'     'Well, why don't you nibble on  some of my droppings?' replied the bull.  It's full of  nutrients.'  The turkey pecked at a lump of  dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach  the lowest branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some  more dung, he reached the second branch.  Finally after a fourth night, the  turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree.  He was promptly spotted by a  farmer, who shot him out of the tree.

Moral of the  story: 
Bull Shit might  get you to the top, but it won't keep you  there... 
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
A little bird was flying south for  the winter.  It was so cold the bird froze and fell to  the ground into a large field. While he was lying there, a cow  came by and dropped some dung on him.   As the frozen bird lay there in  the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was. The dung was actually thawing him  out!  He lay there all warm and happy,  and soon began to sing for joy.  A passing cat heard the  bird singing and came to investigate.  Following the sound, the cat  discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly  dug him out and ate him.

Moral of the  story:  
(1) Not everyone  who shits on you is your enemy.
(2) Not everyone  who gets you out of shit is your friend.
(3) And when  you're in deep shit, it's best to keep your mouth  shut!