Joke Time

been around before, but I like it ....


An elderly man in Louisiana had owned a large farm for several years.

He  had a large pond in the back. It was properly shaped for swimming,
so he fixed it up nice with picnic tables, horseshoe courts, and some
apple and peach trees.

One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond since he
hadn't been there for a while and look it over.

He grabbed a five-gallon bucket to bring back some fruit.

As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee.

As he came closer, he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping
in his pond.

He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end.

One of the women shouted to him, 'we're not coming out until you leave!'

The old man frowned.  'I didn't come down here to watch you ladies
swim naked or make you get out of the pond,naked.'

Holding the bucket up, he said,
'I'M HERE TO FEED THE ALLIGATOR.'

... A Dream ....

This photo is so beautiful, it feels like a dream....

 

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-1363789/The-cloud-chaser-Amateur-weatherman-follows-sun-compass-snap-stunning-pictures.html

And this one:

Oh Crappy Day ... oh crappy day

This would suck

My New Boat!!

This is my new house!!!  Very low mortgage!!!

Creation? Evolution? WoW

Human Calculator

If it hadn't been for that hag math teacher I had in middle school, I would like math.   I think.

Last Person Out, Turn Off Light

Well, at least it explains why the unemployment rate in Michigan dropped.
Lansing's population fell by 4%, however ....
In the last decade, Detroit lost 25% - MORE - of it's population!!  Holy Moley!!  If Granholm had only made De-Riot a "Cool City" earlier, it would have saved the day!!!   Or - maybe we shoulda hung on to Kwame!  He had all the answers - and we, we, uh, er, we just sent him away!! 
Seriously, I watch Detroit 1-8-7 and I can see a city about ready to give re-birth.  Or is that After-Birth. 

What happened to that Inner City Farming idea?

More Obama Bashing .....

What Gawl!!  How dare he with the bad comb-over ask the Indonesian one to show his birth certificate !!!   Jesus, I am so tired of this ... .but, why doesn't he just show it.  Bigger Things.  Major distraction.  But it undercuts trust, etc ........ I'm staring at my hand while it types ......

Obama Costs America a Trillion $$$?

And the fraud in Medicare IS astounding.  I don't get it.  OH, it's from FOX NEWS.  It must be claptrap right-wing garbage ....

Movies You Have Walked Out of - Turned Off

Over on FBook, I mentioned what a loser movie "Dinner for Schmucks" turned out to be.  I saw an entire wall of the dvds at the store and just assumed that it must be in demand.  So much for the Public  (sorry - that includes both of us, I guess).  I mean, I enjoy a really stupid movie once in a while, but this was just a waste.

Agree? What movies have you walked out of - or turned off the DVD player in the middle of.  I will start with a couple:

- Dinner for Schmucks.  Worst I've seen this year
- Bo Derek's '10' - Sorry.  She's hot.  She's even Conservative (?) but that movie blew dirt balls
- The Remains of the Day ... with all respect to Anthony Hopkins whom I LOVE
- Unforgiven.  I KNOW!  RIght?!?  It's Clint!   But I fell asleep 3 times trying to watch that ... a cowboy-western is supposed to have some ACTION..... zzzzzzzzz   That was back on laserdisk days ....
- ANYTHING ANIME!!!!   SUCK, SUCK, SUCK ....
- Whatever that dumbass horror movie was that had Alice Cooper.  Even HE couldn't save it.

2 hours of life - gone!

Ever watch a movie that everybody in the world (supposedly) loves and raves about and then find yourself half-way through the POS trying to slit your wrists to get out of it?  Dinner With Schmucks!   Really?  The video store must have it's own wall dedicated to just this one movie and I could not get into it at all?  Completely stupid.  And I love Stupid (aka, Tommy Boy or Dumb and Dumber ....)   I want back those 2 hours!!!!

Oink! Says the Pubic Union

Electric Cars - Because electricity grows on trees ... ha, ha, ha

(from allaccess)
Nissan's Leaf is the electric car a lot of "green" folks are driving around, and that's all well and good except that it allegedly has a small flaw: You'll be driving around and the dash will tell you that you have a lot of miles left on the charge, and then, suddenly, it'll show that you have no juice left and you'll get stranded. It's happening to a lot of Leaf owners, and it happens all of a sudden. I suppose they'll call it an energy-saving feature. (Jalopnik via MSNBC)

 Dumb Ass Car ..... Try it on a -15 Michigan Winter Morning ....... OFLMAO ......  which is why we need to ..... DRILL ALASKA .... http://www.richmichaels.com/drill_alaska_like_men.html

Sarah Kicks Indonesian Ass

Illegals - Go to Hell or Go Home

Submitted by "C" .... this is powerful.  For Illegals - ANYWHERE

My great great grandfather watched as his friends died in the Civil War, my grandfather watched as his friends died in WW II, and my father watched as his friends died in Vietnam. And now I am watching my friends die in the Middle East.

None of them died for the Mexican Flag.

Everyone died for the U.S. flag.

In Texas , a student raised a Mexican flag on a school flag pole; another student took it down. Guess who was expelled...the kid who took it down.

Kids in high school in California were sent home this year on Cinco de Mayo because they wore T-shirts with the American flag printed on them.

Enough is enough.

We've bent over to appease the America-haters long enough.

I'm taking a stand.

I'm standing up because the hundreds of thousands who died fighting in wars for this country, and for the U.S. flag can't stand up.

And shame on anyone who tries to make this a racist message.

Let me make this perfectly clear!

THIS IS MY COUNTRY!

And, because I make This statement

DOES NOT

Mean I'm against immigration!!!

YOU ARE WELCOME HERE, IN MY COUNTRY!

Welcome! To come through legally:

1. Get a sponsor!

2. Get a place to lay your head!

3. Get a job!

4. Live ByOURRules!

5. PayYOURTaxes!

And

6. Learn theLANGUAGElike immigrants have in the past!!!

AND

7. Please don't demand that we hand over our lifetime

savings ofSocial Security Fundsto you.

If you don't want to forward this for fear of offending someone,

Then YOU'RE PART OF THE PROBLEM!

When willAMERICANS STOPgiving awayTHEIR RIGHTS

We've gone so far the other way...

bent over backwards not to offend anyone.

But it seems no one cares about the

AMERICAN CITIZEN

that's being offended!

WAKE UP America !!!

If You agree.... Pass this on.

If You don't agree.. Delete It!!!

I LOVE DOGS!!!!!!!

I miss my Dog : (   I gotta get another one.  You'll fall in love.    : )    What a wonderful creature these canines!

It's Monday

Whackos in the News

Colorado's state House of Representatives --  Recently, 2 state reps got into it with each other out on the floor.  //   CAGE MATCH, BITCHES!!!! //  Rep. Bill Cadman called an amendment proposed by Rep. Val Vigil "garbage." When Vigil said Cadman was garbage, Cadman said if Vigil ever said that again, "I'll ram my fist up your ass." //  YEP, ONLY THE FINEST POLITICIANS MONEY CAN BUY ....

Drunken Victims Slept through Stabbing!!!  Three people were stabbed in a Scottsdale apartment, but two were so drunk they slept through it!!   //  WTF?!?  //   Police said a Hispanic man broke into a woman's apartment around 3 a.m. Saturday.   The man stabbed the 22-year-old woman in the stomach before stabbing two men, ages 22 and 24, who were sleeping on the living room couch.   Officers said the men had drunk so much alcohol that night that they slept through the attack.   //  THEY MUSTA' DRANK SOME OF THAT NEW KID ROCK 'RED STAG' I TOLD YOU ABOUT!!!   WOW  //  Police think they’ve made the connection.  Cops said that three Hispanic men had been working on a car stereo in the parking lot of the complex earlier in the week. The man said he had gotten into a shouting match with them because their music was too loud.   The Mexican men were staying at one of the apartments but that after the attack, they fled to Mexico.// AT LEAST THEY'RE GOING IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION.  OUT!

A FOOT NIPPLE PLEASE.  No this is not a name for an exotic new bar drink.  A 22-year-old woman sought medical care for a a well-formed nipple on her foot.  It kinda looks like a mole, but doctors say it is an actual nipple.  Surrounded by areola. Clinical and histopathologic findings were consistent with the diagnosis of supernumerary breast tissue. To our knowledge, this is the first report of breast tissue on the foot.  Doctors say nipples can pop up all over the place, including the face, back, and thigh (and foot, obviously). They can be functionally complete, and can even lactate. //  SO THERE REALLY IS SOMETHING TO THOSE TOE SUCKER CREEPY PEOPLE WHO LIKE FEET.